GUIDELINES FOR SANGHA MEMBERS OFFERING SUPPORT

Practice Issues

When someone in the sangha experiences a life transition or crisis, they'll call the support network coordinators and request particular kinds of support. You may want to offer support but find that what you are able to give doesn't fit the person's needs right now. If this is the case, know that many opportunities for generosity will present themselves later on, and that generosity to self and family are also important.

At those times when we are able to offer support, it's natural to want to do or say the „right¾ thing. You may worry that the meal you're offering might not be a favorite food. Remember that the person you're offering support to will be receiving your generosity as practice as well. In the begging bowl tradition of Theravadan Buddhism, all that is offered is joyfully accepted and practiced with.

You may also find yourself with a b need to do more. However, our practice teaches us that acting on the urge to do something may not be wisest response. It encourages us to sit with our experience and to know compassion not only for the other person's situation, but also for our own feelings of helpessness or sadness. When we allow room in our hearts for whatever arises, we offer metta (loving kindness) to all beings. If you would like to include formal metta practice as part of your offering of support, try repeating silent phrases such as the following as part of your meditation practice:
May you be safe and protected from harm.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May you live with ease of well-being.
May you come to know liberation.

Nuts & Bolts

If you are taking a meal to someone, be sure to label any dishes either with your name or with the word "disposable." The network coordinators will let you know if there are any ingredients to avoid. For most people, you'll want to avoid cooking very oily or spicy foods unless they're requested.

If you go shopping for someone, please honor their wishes & accept reimbursement for your expenses. If food donations are needed, the network coordinators will let you know. Please also stick to the list. Even if it doesn't seem like enough food, don't buy more; it's likely that other people are also bringing in food. If you have trouble finding an item & can't reach one of the coordinators to ask about substitutions, just leave it off the list.

If you are delivering something to the home, plan to keep conversations brief & simple. Know that this may not be the best time to bring up a philosophical point or an emotional issue. You can always feel free to ask if the person would like company, but if you're not specifically invited to stay longer, please keep your visit short.

Cleanliness is important if you're providing a service for someone receiving chemotherapy. Make sure to wash your hands as soon as you get to the home. If you're providing a meal, be careful to use clean preparation techniques. If you or anyone in your family is sick, please do not cook the meal as scheduled, but instead call one of the support network coordinators and let us know. We'll arrange for a substitute to prepare the meal for that day.

If you have questions about a service you're offering, please contact the network coordinators rather than calling the person receiving support. This avoids many people making separate calls asking similar questions. If you simply want to make contact with the person who's going through a life transition, consider sending a letter or email. This allows the other person to read your message when they're feeling up to it. Don't worry if words don't come easily or you don't get a reply; your expression of love and concern will have been heard.

Show-Me Support Coordinators: